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Friday, May 2, 2008

Sorority House Massacre 2

Customer Review: Better than the first!
This sequel to Sorority House Massacre has nothing to do with the first one. There is a flashback sequence, but they for some reason flash back to Slumber Party Massacre. All these massacre movies are pretty much the same, so I guess they got confused about which movie this was a sequel to. But it doesn't matter, because this movie sure is fun! It doesn't take itself as seriously as the first and that's a good thing. Sometimes it plays it straight, but sometimes it feels like it's starting to border on being a slasher spoof as opposed to a straight slasher film. There is plenty of violence and no less than six women show off their double d's, so fans of 80's slasher flicks should definitely enjoy this.
Customer Review: My Kind of Junk Food
This is one of my all time favorite "stupid slasher movies" ... and I'm not afraid to admit that it's quite simply because I like most of the women who were selected to run around partly and completely naked as the films story unfolds ... or was it ... falls apart. Cute, curvy girls bouncing around in weakly acted horror as their scantily clad bodies are put in evermore rediculous forms of peril ... how could I resist such a mindless offering? It's pure guilty pleasure ... and I've long since gotten over the guilt. :) Those of us who occasionally (or regularly) watch this sort of drivel know it's not about quality cinema ... it's about managing our sexual and personal frustration by indulging in a bit of mindless and gratifying stupidity. It's about letting your "real world" standards go for a few hours and letting your inner monster come out to play for a while. What often disappoints me about movies like this isn't their lack of writing, acting or cinematic quality ... I've come to expect these things. What I don't enjoy are mindless slasher movies with unattractive starlets, sparse nudity and little or no attempt at even lame horror. I mean ... if you're not even going to indulge our guilty pleasures ... what's the point. Well, this movie didn't disappoint ... slippery shower scenes ... bouncing babes with very curvy bodies ... plenty of mindless and stupid and highly unlikely horror ... it was JUST the ticket. Enjoy with a greasy cheese burger, cold pizza, cold fries and a soda ...


continued from Part 3 "Why Do Bad Things Happen To So-called "Good" People"

There are many Bible scholars who believe that the premise of Job was for God to teach Job a lesson. And the Lord said unto Satan, Have you considered my servant Job, that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an upright man, one that fears God and shuns evil? And still he holds fast his integrity. Satan suggested to God that He stretch forth His hand and destroy the family of this perfect and upright man who fears God and shuns evil, and destroy everything he owns and give him a hideous disease from head to foot. Then does God says to go ahead, give it your best shot? How could anyone possibly believe that and still call himself a Bible scholar? Pardon me, I digress!

How much more grievous trials would be without good friends to bless and comfort you! Or would they? Let's see what Job has to say about it: Job 2:11-13 Now when Job's three friends heard of all this adversity that had come upon him, each one came from his own place--Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. For they had made an appointment together to come and mourn with him, and to comfort him. And when they raised their eyes from afar, and did not recognize him, they lifted their voices and wept; and each one tore his robe and sprinkled dust on his head toward heaven. So they sat down with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his grief was very great.

Eliphaz was the first friend. Then Eliphaz the Temanite answered and said, If we essay to commune with you, will you be grieved? But who can withhold himself from speaking? Behold, you have instructed many, and you have strengthened the weak hands. Your words have upheld him that was falling, and you have strengthened the feeble knees. But now it is come upon you, and you faint; it touches you, and you are troubled. Is not this your fear, your confidence, your hope, and the uprightness of your ways? Remember, I pray you, whoever perished, being innocent? Or where were the righteous cut off? Even as I have seen, they that plow iniquity, and sow wickedness, reap the same (Job 4:1-8). And again, I have seen the foolish taking root; but suddenly I cursed his habitation (Job 5:3; see also Job 15:17).

Eliphaz was trying to comfort Job by arguing from a position of his own personal experience, hence the phrase, as I have seen. Now, that would be just fine if the person you were trying to convince was laboring under the same circumstances. Otherwise, what basis do you have to present or argue your point? Case in point, how could Eliphaz possibly relate his life experience with Job's? No two cases are exactly similar, so why even bother to interject yours into the mix? That was exactly the sentiment of Job, for no sooner had Eliphaz finished speaking than, without the slightest recognition or response to his words, Job proceeded with his own tale of woes, interspersed with self-vindication and bitter complaints against God (Job 6:7).

Bildad is the second well-meaning friend. He proceeds with an entirely different approach than Eliphaz. He does not refer to personal experience, or even to what he himself has observed. He appeals to others' past experiences. For inquire, please, of the former age, and consider the things discovered by their fathers, for we were born yesterday, and know nothing, because our days on earth are a shadow. Will they not teach you and tell you and utter words from their heart? (Job 8:8-10)

Well, if the twisted theology and parched paradigms of Mathew Henry are any indication of wisdom or revelation knowledge derived from the traditions and counsel from our forefathers, then I can understand why we are exhorted to study to show yourself approved unto God, a workman that needs not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. (2Timothy 2:15) Get your revelations and truths from God's word by the Holy Spirit, not solely from man. If you receive the word from a man, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world. (1John 4:1)

Bildad offers a much wider range of possibilities, both for finding answers and formulating questions. He offers the adage that there is safety in numbers as to obtaining reasonably truthful answers to life's difficult questions. Hence, there is more assurance, authority, experience and respectability through many "fathers" than through the limited experience of one individual. It would also hint at Proverbs 11:14 Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety. In the letter of historical facts experience may ring true; however, in the spirit of historical experience, you cannot find two men whose lives will parallel each other as to causal experiences. As for the traditions of men, their origins and foundations are shaky or nebulous at best. Neither experience nor tradition will judge on That Day, but only God's Word!

Therefore, as might be expected, Bildad's oration carried no more weight with Job than that of Eliphaz. Both efforts were empty and vain, carrying little to no comfort or solace. As far as their assessment of Job's relationship to God, they were 180 degrees off. They concluded Job must have sinned, Job insisted he didn't, and God backed him up. His friends were quick to judge Job based upon their own self-righteous view of the circumstances, from their own perspective, not God's. God's Word is the only standard and His is the only authority qualified to judge. By that standard alone, all men will be judged, and to Him every knee shall bow and every tongue shall confess that Jesus Christ is Lord!

If Job's friends had wielded words of compassion, comfort and encouragement rather than judgment and condemnation, they could have softened the unrelenting blows of the enemy. What's more, compassion and soft, tender words could expose Job's negative, distorted verbal assessment of God and perhaps even revealed the true root cause and source of his afflictions, the words of his mouth and the corresponding attacks of Satan.

Now comes Job's third friend, Zophar: But oh, that God would speak, and open His lips against you, that He would show you the secrets of wisdom! For they would double your prudence. Know therefore that God exacts from you less than your iniquity deserves. If you would prepare your heart, and stretch out your hands toward Him; if iniquity were in your hand, and you put it far away, and would not let wickedness dwell in your tents; then surely you could lift up your face without spot; Yes, you could be steadfast, and not fear. (Job 11:5-6; 13-15)

Job probably thought something like: how could this so-called friendly motivational seminar get any more depressing; and then comes Zophar. This guy's character assassination of God made Job's assertions seem less severe. To put it mildly, he did not know the Divine Character of God. How could anyone that claims to know God suggest that He could open His lips against... his servant Job, a man that God himself says that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, one who fears God and shuns evil, And still he holds fast to his integrity-who has just had his entire family destroyed, everything he owns stolen or destroyed, and has been stricken with a dreadful disease?

How is Zophar any different from over 95% of the so-called theologians throughout the decades teaching these same fallacies and recording them in books? God is not against us... Romans 8:31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He is not a legal exactor, as accused by Zophar (Know therefore that God exacts from you...) He is a liberal giver! I have come that you might have life and have it more abundantly. John 10:10 Then again, Zophar says, If you prepare your heart.

It is obvious he does not have a clue how to do that! If no man is good and all our hearts are desperately wicked, then how is that accomplished? As if he knew. What if he sets out to prepare his heart and finds nothing but evil and finds himself perfectly powerless? Then what? Zophar has not got a clue. He only knows God as a heartless exactor who can only open His lips against you.

Are you surprised that Zophar had no better success in converting Job to his way of thinking than either of the other two so-called "good" friends? They all were horribly torqued in their opinions; much like today there are spiritual leaders who are trying to figure out God by using legalisms, experience, and the traditions of men. (And He said unto them, Full well ye reject the commandment of God, that ye may keep your own tradition, Mark 7:9.)

What did Job's friends accomplish in their feeble attempts to counsel or comfort him? Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, and changed the glory of the incorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man. (Romans 1:22) Who is this who darkens counsel by words without knowledge? (Job 38:2) They are doing to Job what Job did to God. Job speaks without knowledge, his words are without wisdom. (Job 34:35)

It is evident, by listening to the exhortations of Job's three friends, that they did not have a personal relationship with him. This was evidenced by the lack of compassion, empathy, or intimate understanding of Job's predicament, and especially their lack of trust in Job's assessment of his relationship with his God. I believe that this encounter between Job and his friends is analogous to the relationship of many pastors to their congregations as well as the relationship of most Christians to God. The key word is "personal." A personal, intimate, loving and trusting relationship is born out of faith in someone, which stems from knowing everything about them, their nature, character, values and core beliefs.

Hence, to develop a close personal relationship with God requires faith in Him. How can anyone have faith in someone they do not know? (Romans 10:17) So then, faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. The Word of God teaches us what God is like, His nature, character and His righteousness. Faith comes by hearing His Word, and the more of His Word we hear, the more we will know about Him and the more faith we will have in Him. If Job's friends could have looked at Job the way God looked at Job, and the way God saw Job, they would have approached him with love and compassion, looking for a way to bring him up out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set his feet upon a rock, and established his steps (Psalms 40:2), and lead him into the light, not into darkness and despair.

The ministry of Job's three friends fell far short of silencing his relentless self-righteous rant at God's supposed injustice, but rather drove him into deeper despair and fueled his feeble attempt at vindication. He now digs in his heels and furiously lashes back in his defense of "self." Then Job spoke again: Job 12 You really know everything, don't you? And when you die, wisdom will die with you! Well, I know a few things myself-and you're no better than I am. Who doesn't know these things you've been saying? Look, I have seen many instances such as you describe. I understand what you are saying. I know as much as you do. You are no better than I am. Oh, how I long to speak directly to the Almighty. I want to argue my case with God himself. For you are smearing me with lies. As doctors, you are worthless quacks. Please be quiet! That's the smartest thing you could do. Listen to my charge; pay attention to my arguments. Are you defending God by means of lies and dishonest arguments? You should be impartial witnesses, but will you slant your testimony in his favor? Will you argue God's case for Him? Be careful that He doesn't find out what you are doing! Or do you think you can fool Him as easily as you fool people? No, you will be in serious trouble with Him if even in your hearts you slant your testimony in His favor.

Doesn't His majesty strike terror into your heart? Does not your fear of Him seize you? Your statements have about as much value as ashes. Your defense is as fragile as a clay pot. Be silent now and leave me alone. Let me speak, and I will face the consequences. Yes, I will take my life in my hands and say what I really think. God might kill me, but I cannot wait. I am going to argue my case with Him. But this is what will save me: that I am not godless. If I were, I would be thrown from His presence. (Job 13) Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. It is obvious that Job was still far from having a broken spirit or contrite heart. Sure, his friends were wrong in their assessment of Job's heart, the heart of God and in the way they dealt with Job. However, their deplorable behavior does not make Job right!

If Job had been quick to condemn and humble himself and acknowledge that he had a self-righteous, self-aggrandizing attitude, he would have stopped his friends' mouths and they would have had nothing to say. And, in turn, if they had spoken with compassion, tenderness and truly offered support, he would have melted instead of hardening his heart. Job insisted he had done nothing wrong and they insinuated he had done nothing right, leaving no room for agreement or understanding. They were headed down two separate roads that never intersected. to be cont.

In Part five you will learn that it is best to judge yourself rather that to be judged by God.

Douglas C. Hoover; CEO of Aquamedia Corp, Master Waterfall Builder, architect, engineer, freelance writer, author, designer & builder of well over 1,900 waterfall and ponds in CA (26 years). Author of "Waterfall and Pond Construction Manual" and developer of the "Water Feature Digital Design Library 4.0" Free downloads, no sign in- http://www.askdoughoover.com http://www.beautifulfeetoutreach.com

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